1st Edition
Repairing Attachment Injuries in Close Relationships An Emotionally Focused Guide to Moving Beyond Betrayal
This book is an essential guide for those who have experienced an attachment injury in an important relationship and are struggling to process their hurt and betrayal or to imagine rebuilding the trust in this precious bond.
Dr. Clare Rosoman guides readers on a path towards healing and recovery, informed by attachment science and Emotionally Focused Therapy. Viewing close relationships as attachment bonds, this book examines betrayal and how these painful events can create an “attachment injury,” which redefines the relationship bond as insecure. It offers strategies for healing relationships and restoring security in connection, and looks at many different types of attachment injuries including those that can happen in monogamous or non-monogamous relationships. As Rosoman suggests, relationships can emerge even stronger after being rocked by broken trust.
This book is a vital resource for therapists looking to facilitate healing and growth in their clients in individual, couple, or family therapy, as well as for individuals seeking an encouraging self-help resource.
Part 1 – Broken Bonds: Learning about attachment & the impact of betrayal
Chapter 1: What is an attachment injury?
Chapter 2: The impact of an attachment injury
Chapter 3: Healing an attachment injury
Part 2 – Stabilisation: Creating the context for healing
Chapter 4: Beginning the healing process
Chapter 5: Echoes of trauma
Chapter 6: Making sense of complex injuries
Part 3 – Healing: Repairing the bond and re-establishing security
Chapter 7: Working through the injury for the hurt partner
Chapter 8: Reconciling the injury for the hurtful partner
Chapter 9: Antidote bonding for both partners
Part 4 – Growth: Stronger in the broken place
Chapter 10: Earning security
Chapter 11: When the injury can’t be resolved
Chapter 12: Stronger in the broken place
Biography
Clare Rosoman, DPsych, is a clinical psychologist in Brisbane, Australia. She is the author of An Emotionally Focused Guide to Relationship Loss: Life After Love and co-author of An Emotionally Focused Workbook for Relationship Loss: Healing Heartbreak Session by Session.
“Love hurts, and it also heals. Whether you have been hurtful, or hurt, or some combination of both, Dr Clare Rosoman once again beautifully translates the wisdom of attachment science, offering readers a guide from injury to repair, into ongoing growth, and resilience. This book is a must read for anyone wishing to understand why love hurts, and the roadmap for healing.”
Dr T. Leanne Campbell, ICEEFT Certified Trainer in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT); co-author with Dr Sue Johnson of the first text on EFT as applied to individuals, A Primer for Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT): Cultivating Fitness and Growth in Every Client (Routledge, 2022); co-author of Becoming an Emotionally Focused Therapist: The Workbook (Routledge, 2022)
“In Repairing Attachment Injuries in Close Relationships: An Emotionally Focused Guide to Moving Beyond Betrayal Dr Rosoman undertakes the brave task of guiding readers on a self-help journey through the pain and repair of broken trust in their most important attachment relationships. Utilizing a process, shown to be effective in a therapeutic context, Rosoman provides practical tools that equip readers with personal and relational agency for navigating a path towards healing. Rosoman’s dedication and enthusiasm to offer tangible support and comfort to readers shattered by a wide range of relational ruptures shines a beacon of hope through every page. The book is a treasure of unshakeable hope for the repair of shattered trust in familial, friendship, and romantic bonds, and for growing through grieving, where wounds are beyond repair.”
Lorrie Brubacher, author of Stepping into Emotionally Focused Therapy: Key Ingredients of Change (2nd ed.) and Workouts for Stepping into Emotionally Focused Therapy: Exercises to Strengthen Your Practice; Trainer and Director of the Carolina Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy; adjunct, UNC Greensboro.
“This is Clare’s quintessential book. As a seasoned author, and blending science and humanness, Clare’s writing offers her readers honest reflections of what is needed to repair a love relationship, a lovely invitation to heal, and many clear glimpses into the science behind what makes healing from a rupture in trust possible. Give yourself the gift of this book. You will feel seen, heard, and understood as you make your way through these pages. You will gain clarity and depth about yourself and your relationship that will serve you for decades to come.”
Kathryn Rheem, Ed.D., LMFT, ICEEFT Certified Trainer, Supervisor & Therapist. Co-author: An emotionally focused workbook for relationship loss: Healing heartbreak session by session (2023) and Becoming an emotionally focused therapist: The workbook (2nd) (2022).
“Clare Rosoman has done it again! She has captured both the emotional anguish and process of healing relationship wounds in a highly relatable, inclusive book. You will appreciate Dr Rosoman’s clarity in demystifying relationship ruptures and offering step-by-step tools to guide partners in repairing these hurts. A must have book where she walks alongside you with deep care, empathy, and encouragement to keep going so you can mend and revitalize your most precious relationships.”
Veronica Kallos-Lilly, Ph.D., Certified EFT Trainer & Therapist, and contributing author of An Emotionally Focused Workbook for Couples and Becoming an Emotionally Focused Therapist.
“In Repairing Attachment Injuries in Close Relationships, Clare Rosoman offers individuals, couples, and families a clear guide for dealing with attachment injuries – those events that betray the bond in a relationship. The pain that can come with attachment injuries can linger and become a source of corrosion in a relationship if not tended to. The breadth of material Clare covers is thorough, grounded in clinical experience and research, and, most importantly, is accessible for people to work on healing relationships that matter to them most. With a grounding in attachment theory and emotion, the clear path that Clare lays out for recovery offers hope for healing where hope may not seem possible. This clear pathway to a healing that offers specifics for both the person who was injured and the person who may have caused harm, makes it possible for those who have been through an attachment injury to understand how they can recover together, and ultimately, improve their relationship. Clare lays out the ideas clearly and offers exercises and tasks that allows for self-pacing, provides concrete ways for each person to communicate how they are dealing with each step in recovery, and strategies for staying on task throughout the process. For anyone who has been through an attachment injury, this book is a must for all who were involved!”
Dr. Robert Allan, School of Psychology, University of Roehampton
